Walking Away, Wondering...

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking about what life was like for me in 8th grade...I don't know why, but as I lay in bed trying to wake up, all these words kept coming and found myself writing a poem in my head.  Later today, while sitting at a coffee shop in downtown Kolobrzeg, all the words flowed back to me and I put them down on paper...

Laughing in the dark, 

We turned somersaults 

Until our stomachs churned. 

Giggling, we landed in a heap

On the bright green grass

Where our hearts

Began to spill out

And beat in tune with each other. 

Our sides heaved

As we laughed. 

Our eyes cried out

For deliverance 

From the hot liquid

Running down our cheeks

And dripping onto our swollen hearts

Salting them with love. 

Our lungs expanded, retracted

And did not stop

When our laughter ceased.  

We looked out

Under brushed eyelashes

And painted eyelids

Manicured fingernails sifting through

Our professionally-styled hair.  

"10 years," you said. 

"10 years down the road

We will never be like this again." 

And I made empty promises

In the deep black night

Above the cool green grass

Under stars that were the only ones

Who knew how sincere

I was trying to be. 

How much I wanted 

To keep my promises. 

The night ended long after

We all went home. 

I laid in my bed that night

Into the early morning hours

And wept.  

The promises I had made...

Would be broken. 

-Ruthie 

December 18, 2009

12:10 pm

sitting in a coffee shop

(Photo:  Downtown Kolobrzeg at night; December 13, 2009)

Just a Note

Blogger has been acting weird lately for me.  So, some posts might have some line breaks that don't really make sense.  This is not because I am an idiot and don't know how to type.  It is because Blogger feels the need to enter another line break in random places.  Also, there are random extra spaces between paragraphs, which is also not because of me.  :)  Lol...so forgive Blogger.  It might do this for the rest of the year.  :)

And also, I wanted to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me in my mission in Poland this year.  It has been an amazing journey so far and it's incredible what God can and will choose to do if we let Him take control of our lives.  Something that I have to remember is to let Him HAVE control.  It's hard at times, as a lot of good things are, but it's so worth it!  Every day, I wake up and say "Wow!  I am in Poland."  And it is during these times that I remember how I got here (the help of you!) and Who made it happen (God!).

As of right now, December 6, 2009, I have 178 days left in Poland.  Here is what I plan to do for traveling.  The day after Christmas, I will be going way down south to the Tatra Mountain range.  I will be staying in a small town (28,000 people; about half the size of Kolobrzeg) called Zakopane.  It is the capitol city of Lesser Poland Province.  I hope to go skiing there, as well as some sight-seeing, which I am so excited about!  We will be down there for a week and then will be back in time for classes to start up again at the beginning of January.

The first two weeks of February are Winter Break for the schools in Kolobrzeg area (each province gets a different Winter Break to cut down on crowds at the most popular places to go during this break and on trains, because this is how most people travel in Poland).  I am planning a trip to Warsaw, Krakow, Oswiecim (where the concentration camps are located), possibly Tychy (where the Polish foreign exchange student we had at GSAA is from), and then the last stop will be Poznan.

Other than that, I might take weekend trips to Gdaynsk (about a 3-hour train ride away from Kolobrzeg), and to other close places.  I really want to see Malbork castle, which is (ironically enough) in Malbork, Poland.  Haha.  :)  The pictures look beautiful, so I'd like to see it for myself.

As far as classes are going, they are going pretty well.  Within the next two weeks, I will be losing 2 of my tutor students, but gaining 3, so that is ALWAYS exciting!  :)  One of them I am REALLY looking forward to meeting.  His name is Krystian and he has Cerebral Palsy.  He has a hard time speaking (in any language) because of this disability.  But, he really wants to learn English.  He is about 22 or 23 years old.  Starting December 7 (Monday), I will be going to meet with him with another teacher who speaks Polish and English.

The teacher's name is Derek and is about 25 years old.  He works for a local driving school and on holidays, he goes to different countries to hand out Adventist literature.  This next year, he will be going to Sweden (for the second time) as well as England.  He hopes to travel some more in the future.

Classes with the younger groups of students are also going very well.  I teach 4 classes a week to children ages 9-14.  It is a challenge at times, but I am getting used to being up front and am enjoying getting to know my students.  I will be doing a Christmas party in each one of my classes in the next few weeks, so that should be a lot of fun!  :)  I am looking forward to it!

Nick is still doing well in Ethiopia, Africa and is doing quite a bit of work with the outer clinics.  :)  I have gotten to talk to him about three times on the phone since being in Poland and he always sounds so happy.  Please continue to keep him in your prayers.  Please keep ALL the SMs in your prayers...that we will move the work forward and make a difference in other people's lives.  :)  Prayer does change things.  :)

Finally, I am doing very well, too.  I have only gotten sick once and that was "cured" by sleeping more and drinking lots of water.  It has gotten colder here as of late (dropped into the minus degrees Celsius), but I am surviving the best I can.  :)  Lol...  Life is good, God is amazing, and I am having the time of my life!  I don't know where Christmas Eve/Day will find me, but no matter where I am, know that I will be thinking of all of you and missing you!

Enjoy the holiday season and make sure to spend time with those you love!  :)  Thanks again for your support and your prayers.  It means much more to me than you will ever probably know (at least until you see me again!).  :)

Love to all,
--Ruthie

Happy Independence Day, Poland!!!

November 11, 2009 --  Poland's Independence Day

After 120 years of being controlled by other countries (Russia, Germany, Czechoslovakia, Ukraine...) and being partitioned over and over again (basically not even existing as its own country) Poland gained its independence in 1918.  And yes, as you might imagine, it is definitely a big deal.  :)  A few days before the actual day of independence, the city put up a million and one (yes, that many) flags - for Poland and for the European Union.  

(Photo:  My apartment building is not pictured, but is right next to the one on the far right of this picture in the background.)

I woke up on this Wednesday morning with the sun shining and the birds singing...well, not quite.  The sun was doing its best to shine through the clouds and the birds were not singing.  The seagulls were squawking and calling out to one another, apparently also very happy to have another day to celebrate their independence.  :)  I got ready for the day, grabbed my notebook and headed to the church to have one tutor lesson with David.  It was going to be a longer one:  we were going to meet for an hour and a half (9:00-10:30 am).  It went quite well, and at 10:35, I was locking up the church and heading back to my apartment.  

(Photo:  Kolobrzeg SDA Church...yes, it's the brown box in the middle of the picture.  :)  I have lessons with my tutor students downstairs.  The large window at the top are at the top of the staircase and the two small windows are in the bathrooms.  The windows in the middle of the building are in the sanctuary part of the church.)

At 11 am, I walked over to William's apartment block to walk the 15 minutes with him to the Town Hall of Kolobrzeg.  There, we watched army men line up for the procession and waited for Magda, our Polish teacher, to arrive.  I took pictures while William looked around for Magda.  Finally, she showed up and then we decided to walk over to the local park in the center of downtown where the procession would end up anyway.

(Photo:  The Marching Band.)

We heard them before we saw them.  The marching band.  It was awesome!  :)  Small, but very cool.  Behind the band, marched the army men we saw.  Behind the army, we saw marines.  Behind the marines, we saw local dignitaries, and behind them marched people from various sections of Kolobrzeg's government.  They marched from the Town Hall to the park and then lined up in orderly fashion.

(Photo:  The rest of the marching procession; you will see the army later.)

As soon as they were settled in their places, the president of Kolobrzeg came to the pulpit they had set up and gave a speech.  Magda translated most of the speech for us so we could understand what was going on.  The speeches were made by a statue of a man who had the responsibility of commanding the military that fought for their Independence.

(Photo:  Taken a few weeks before Independence Day; the statue in the park where the program was held on Independence Day.)

Then, we watched as a general of some sort gave a short talk and then started calling out names or groups of people who had fought in the war of 1918 that gained Poland's independence.  Magda told us what was going on, but did not translate for us which groups he was calling.  One by one, people representing these groups (portions of the dignitaries we saw marching) came up to the statue and laid down a wreath of flowers at its feet.  All of a sudden, Magda said, "That man who is walking up to the statue right now is the last known  person who fought in the war of 1918."  Wow.  Talk about incredible!  He must be around 100 years old by now!

(Photo:  The crowd around us; if you squint, you might be able to see the white-haired gentleman in the middle of the photo in front of the statue. He is shorter than most of the others.  He is the last person alive who fought in the war of 1918.)

We stayed for the rest of the general's speech and then the army started moving.  Not marching, just making noise.  The crowd turned to see what was happening.  The general gave some orders, the men readied their guns, they pointed them upward, and BAM!  They cocked their guns again.  BAM!  And again.  BAM!  Three times, they shot into the air.  I could see the sparks from all the guns as they pulled the triggers and smoke filled the air.

(Photo:  A little blurry, but you can still see the army.  This was a few minutes before they fired their guns.)

After that display, the whole procession filed back into their places and filed out of the park and on down the main street through town.  Some of the crowd walked behind them, others dispersed to their homes, and still others stayed for the music that was about to be played.  A man played the bass cello (I think that's what it's called), another man played the accordion, and a woman sang along with these two instruments.  They played war songs from 1918.  Magda translated some of them.  They were hilarious!  Talking about men riding gallantly off to war on their steads, and serenading girls outside their windows...it was fun to listen to.  :)  And the songs were so upbeat.  It was awesome!

(Photo:  Isn't the bass cello gorgeous?  And the accordion player was so much fun to watch.  He kept on smiling and seemed to be having a lot of fun. They even took song requests!)

After the musicians left, Magda suggested William and I go with her to get some coffee or tea, so we agreed and followed her to the "New Old Town" of Kolobrzeg.  (It is called this, because during WWII, Kolobrzeg was flattened.  Literally.  Nothing was left.  But after it was reclaimed by the Poles, they rebuilt the Old Town as it had looked before the war.  Thus, the "New Old Town" name.)  We walked into a small cafe and search the menus for recognizable words.  "Kawa" and "Herbata" were popping out at me, but that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge of Polish at that point in time (that was almost a month ago!).  :)  I finally decided on a chocolate coffee (surprise, surprise, right?), William got something that I can't remember, and Magda bought herself some tea.  After we were finished with our drinks, Magda asked if we wanted something to eat as well, so William and I split a slice of cheesecake and a slice of chocolate cake.  Pretty good.

(Photo:  It was pretty good, but somewhat bitter.  Sad face.  Doesn't it look amazing, though?)

After this, Magda went back home and William and I walked back in the direction of our apartment buildings.  We decided to have lunch together, so we had noodles with a sweet tomato sauce (weird), peas, and corn, with Cola to drink.

(Photo:  The fountain in the local park.  It was awesome and kept changing colors... Needless to say, though, the orange was my favorite.)

Later that evening, William and I walked to the lighthouse to see if we could go up in it.  We had heard that there might be some different events happening near the lighthouse too.  On our way, we saw that one of the fountains in a local park lit up at night, which we hadn't known before.  We stopped to look at it and take pictures and then walked about 15 more minutes to the lighthouse.  As we went up to the entrance to the lighthouse, a whiff of alcohol rose to greet us.  As a result, we decided not to go up in the lighthouse that evening.  (The smell was atrocious!)

(Photo:  Lighthouse at night.  It is beautiful at night and in the daytime.)

Instead, we stopped by Retro Pizza to enjoy some "African Pizza".  Lol...you will laugh too in a second.  I asked William what was on the pizza and he said, "Kiwi, pineapple, bananas, and peaches.  Oh!  And oregano."  I thought it sounded interesting, so we got it.  It was pretty good, but strange to be eating cheese pizza with fruit on it.  :)  (I told my boyfriend, Nick - who is in Africa if you don't remember - about this pizza.  He started laughing and asked me what was on it.  After I told him, he said the pizza should just be crust with tomato sauce.  THEN they could call it an African pizza.  Apparently, Poland has a skewed vision of Africa.  Lol...).

(Photo:  The "African Pizza".)

We headed back to our separate apartments.  When I got back to mine, I can't remember what I did.  But, I stayed up for a few more hours.  I might have read a book or something.  Not sure.  But, it was definitely a fun day!  It was interesting to see how a different country celebrates their independence day, especially since this country has only been independent for 91 years as of November 11, 2009.  Crazy to think about.  The U.S.A. is twice as old!

(Photo:  Me being all patriotic for Poland's Independence Day!  Woohoo!)

Oh and just a note, the Baltic Sea is always a beautiful thing to see and experience.  But at night, it's so amazing...I tried getting a picture of it, but it wasn't working out too well.  The ocean always reminds me of how great, strong, and powerful our God really is.  It's an incredible thing.  Really.  :)

PS:  HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, POLAND!!!  :)

Pumpkin Prayer and a Thanksgiving "Feast"

I decided to make a pumpkin pie from scratch for Thanksgiving last two weeks ago.  I asked Erin (Nick's sister-in-law) for a pumpkin pie recipe.  She gladly typed up the recipe that she uses and even gave me the recipe for the crust (how nice of her, right?).  :)  This was Tuesday, I think--two days before Thanksgiving.  As I knew I wasn't going to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday (like everyone in the U.S.--needless to say, Europe does not celebrate this holiday, so I still had to teach that evening in Trzebiatow), I planned on making the pie on Friday afternoon.

Thursday afternoon found me writing down all the ingredients that I needed.  Flour, condensed milk, salt, butter, brown sugar, etc.  But, most importantly, at the very top of my grocery list was, indeed, a pumpkin.  On the way to the office later that day, I decided to see what the vegetable/fruit stands had in the way of pumpkins.  I saw one, but wasn't quite sure about it.  You'll understand why in a second.  When I got to the office, Tom was sitting at his desk, typing away on the computer.

"Tom," I interrupted him.  "I have a random question that you might laugh at."

With a confused smile, he looked up and said, "Ok?"

"What color are your pumpkins here?" I asked with a serious expression on my face.  (He, on the other hand, was cracking up laughing.)

"What color are the pumpkins in the U.S.?" he asked me, between bouts of laughter.

"Orange," I answered quickly, beginning to laugh too.

"They're the same color here," Tom replied, still chuckling.

"Oh," I said, but then I continued.  "The reason I ask is because I saw a pumpkin at one of the vegetable/fruit stands.  But it was green.  And I wasn't sure if you had orange pumpkins here or not."  This, as you probably have guessed already, set Tom off on another bout of laughter.

Then, I asked, "So...where can I find an ORANGE pumpkin?"  Tom proceeded to draw me a map of where the closest farmer's market was in Kolobrzeg and told me that I would probably find a good pumpkin there.  Thanking him, I made my way back to my apartment to gather my lesson plans and the books I would need in Trzebiatow.

The next day, after our teacher's meeting at Tom's apartment, I set off for the farmer's market in search of my pumpkin.  Going down one aisle, then the next, and the next, I moved in between food and clothing stands looking desperately for a dynia (pumpkin).  I could not find any!

A little disheartened and frustrated, I finally stopped to say a quick prayer.  "God!  I would REALLY like to make a pumpkin pie this afternoon.  But, you see, I can't find the main ingredient--a pumpkin!  Please help me find one!"  Right after I prayed, I kept walking.  A voice in the back of my head said, "Turn around and go back to the stand in the middle."  Shrugging it off, I told myself that I had already looked there.  But something was still telling me to "go back."  So I did.  Turning around and finding my way back to the food stand in the middle, I saw it--the perfect pumpkin.  Well...it was half a pumpkin, actually.  But it was perfect.  :)  I bought it for 5 zloty (about $1.65 USD) and even now, I am thinking that it was a good deal.

(Photo:  Left to right--cooked pumpkin, mashing the pumpkin,

pureed pumpkin; bottom--trashed pumpkin skins...lol.)

So, I went home, cooked the pumpkin in the oven until it got soft, mashed it into puree, added the other ingredients to the pumpkin for the filling, and then started in on the dough.  Everything was fine and dandy until I asked Halina using hand motions if she had a rolling pin.  Looking a little surprised, she said "Nie, nie" (No, no), and then she shrugged her shoulders as if to say "I'm sorry!"  So, instead of using a rolling pin, I used my hands.  I flattened the dough, spread it out, pinched, cut, "pasted", flattened, flipped....until I was satisfied.  Then, I flipped it into the round cake pan I had borrowed from Tom (haha...no pie pan for me!).

(Photo:  Pumpkin filling, pumpkin pie spice, crust)

Lining the bottom of the pan with the dough as well as halfway up the side, I poured the pumpkin filling into its cradle.  Setting it in the oven, I checked the clock and made a mental note to check the progress of the pie at 4:00 pm.  After it was finished, I made some homemade mashed potatoes, with milk, garlic salt, and butter.  I then made my way over to William's apartment for our mini-Thanksgiving dinner.  Though it was a small meal (mashed potatoes, cornbread with butter and fruit to put on top, sparkling white grape juice, and pumpkin pie for dessert), it was a delicious one (at least, I thought it was good).  :)

(Photo:  Our Thanksgiving "Feast"; cornbread, not pictured.)  :)

It turned out to be a day of thanking God for Farmer's Markets, for pumpkins, for that little voice in the back of my head, and also a day of alterations and making do with what I had.

(Photo:  My pumpkin pie spice and I are enjoying making pumpkin pie together.)

Produce Prayers

Ok, so short story for all of you:  I was on my way to buy groceries at the local grocery store.  It is about a 3-minute walk from my apartment.  On my way there, I was mentally making a checklist of things that I thought I should buy.  On that list were apples and bananas.  Then, I realized that I still didn't know how to use the produce weighing machine (everything is in Polish, mind you, and when I have been there before, no one has been buying produce).  But I REALLY wanted apples and bananas.  


So, I said a quick prayer--"Jesus, please help me out here.  When I go into the store, please let someone be buying produce.  I don't care what they buy, but let me be able to see how they use the machine so that I can buy my apples and bananas."  


I walked into the store.  A teenager came in right after me.  She swished past me and quickly grabbed a lemon.  Carrying it to the produce weighing machine, she pushed a couple buttons and off she went to pay for her one lemon...By this time, I was almost laughing out loud.  It was awesome!  When I left the store, I said, "God, you are AWESOME!  Thank you!"  


Then, I walked back to my apartment to enjoy my apples and bananas.  :)

a single thought

When words are too eloquent...

Just live.  

a single conversation

I have missed you.  I feel like I am doing this on my own, and in a way, I am.  But, I am also never alone.  You have told me this fact over and over and over again.  Yet, somehow I always trip up on that word "never".  For, there are times when I cannot compete with the strings pulling my heart in multiple directions.  The tug-of-war rages on inside me and I don't want it to continue.  But, I fear that I am the one who initiated the game.  It is no longer a game, though.  This is very real and I feel it every time I crawl into my bed at night, wanting to drift off into sweet slumber...but, I find that I am kept awake by this strain on my heart. 

Last night, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.  So, I cried out to you.  And you heard me.  But I still could not sleep.  I stayed awake and I talked to you.  I told you what my hopes were, my fears, my desires.  And you heard me.  But still I could not sleep.  So, I kept talking.  Kept spilling out my deepest secrets, fears, wants, pain...some of the wounds run through my body still.  They have not become scabs and the pain intensifies with every shaky breath I take.  And you heard me.  But still I could not sleep.  There were more words.  So I kept talking.

The tears ran freely and I spoke your name in a whisper.  It sounded like a scream to me, but no one came running...except for you.  I had been wondering how long I could keep silent.  I found my answer last night.  You speak so many languages...and I find that no matter where I go, you still understand me.  Whether I speak in a human tongue or with my heart's poundings and irregular rhythms, you still listen and you heard me last night.

Silently, swiftly, the darkness closed in around me and when I was spent from calling out your name, sleep covered me with its comforting shroud.  And I finally let go....to sleep.

(Photo:  Trees on WWU Campus; January 2009)

A Song and a Prayer

So, I have to confess that I have listened to a single song about twice a day since I have left the United States back in October.  Every time I listen to it, it makes me really THINK about why I am here.

"The Lost Get Found"

by Britt Nicole

Hello my friend
I remember when you were
So alive with your wide eyes
Then the light that you had in your heart was stolen
Now you say that it ain't worth stayin'
You wanna run but you're hesitatin'
I'm talkin' to me

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There's a girl on the streets, she's cryin'
There's a man whose faith is dyin'
Love is calling you

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
(Stand out)
Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
(Stand out)
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it 

(Photo:  Reaching to the Sky, the Baltic Sea - November 2009)

Why am I here?  What is my purpose?  I ponder that so often.  But, you know what makes it so clear to me?  My students.  I prepare my lessons before class, write down my plans before I walk into the classroom, fret about forgetting some vital thing before I head over to the school, and then IT happens.  I stand up to teach.  And that is when I realize that I am a teacher.  I am responsible for teaching children.  No matter what subject I am supposed to etch into their little brains (don't worry - it's not that brutal, I promise), what do I really want to teach them?

The first things that come to mind are these:  love for others, trust in me as their teacher, belief in themselves, faith in a power higher than themselves, a desire for learning...and the list goes on.  But then the nitty gritty question:  How do I teach all those things without stating it explicitly?

1 John 3:18 says (in two different versions):

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." (NIV)

"Children, you show love for others by truly helping them, and not by merely talking about it." (CEV)

Since being here, I have had regular worship in the mornings (reading from the Bible) and nightly devotions (reading from an Ellen White devotional book).  I started having nightly devotions when I was back in the States with Nick at WWU.  We met together every night before we headed off to our separate "homes" (I lived in the dorm, he lived in an apartment) and read a page or two out of the Bible or just a page out of the devotional book.  The first book we started reading together was Steps to Christ (E.G.W.).  I enjoyed that book very much; I think being able to talk to Nick about the things we read made it that much better.  :)  Now we are going through a devotional book called "The Faith I Live By" (E.G.W.).  Nick and I each have a copy of the book, so every evening in Africa, Nick reads a page.  And a couple hours later, I read a page in Poland.  It's nice to know that even though we are (literally) worlds apart, we still stay connected in whatever ways we can find.  :)

Morning worship also started because of Nick, in a sort of indirect way.  Whenever I was lucky enough, I would see him reading a chapter or two out of the Bible in the mornings and then he would have a personal prayer.  I enjoyed watching him and I started thinking about starting morning devotions myself.  I had tried years earlier, but "something" (excuses, excuses) always happened so that I would eventually stop having them.  Then I would get this guilty feeling inside that I disliked greatly.  Instead of pushing me towards the Bible, that feeling pulled me away from God...

Through all of this, Nick suggested every now and again that I should start morning devotions.  He was never pushy towards me to start, nor was he lenient on his own devotions.  He was consistent with them every morning and it was this that spoke more to me than any of the words he could have spoken.

(Photo:  This is the school where I teach - it's a local public school.  

School by the Sea rents classrooms for each group we have to teach.  

I usually teach in rooms 211 and 208.)

I started morning devotions the week after Nick left for Africa in August.  I struggled to keep it consistent at first.  Once, I went a week without reading the Bible at all.  The next week, I read two chapters every day to make up for the seven I missed out on the previous week.  A week later, I skipped two mornings.  The next morning, I read three chapters to make up for the two that I missed the previous two mornings.  And so it went.  The day I left Portland, Oregon for Poland, I made a decision.  I told myself that I would not let my personal devotions/worships "fall by the wayside" (so to speak).  I would be actively taking part in them every morning, and every evening.  And I have.  I have realized, even more since being here, that prayer really is an amazing thing.

Prayer has spilled over to other areas in my life as well (not just right after I wake up or right before I go to sleep).  Ephesians 6:18 says, "Never stop praying, especially for others.  Always pray by the power of the Spirit.  Stay alert and keep praying for God's people." (CEV)  I have started praying for each of my classes before I walk into the classroom.  My classes go a whole lot better if I give the students to God before I even begin the lesson.  I know when I have not prayed before a class...I get stressed more easily and the students are less likely to pay attention to the lesson.  It really is an amazing thing.  Prayer changes things.  Believe it.  :)

I may not be able to change the world by myself, but with God on my side, who's to say I can't?  :)

When you get the chance, are you gonna take it?  
There's a really big world at your fingertips 
And you know you have the chance to change it.

English Translations

It was the second week I was here.  Tom asked me if I could look over something for him to check the English usage.  I agreed and he sent me a 16-page document containing information for a resort in Poland.  Tom wanted it done (if possible) the next morning.  It had been translated into English from the Polish version.  My job was to check the translation and to make changes as needed.  The translator did a pretty good job, but there were many grammatical errors.  I crossed out, circled, and revamped the document until I was satisfied with the way it sounded.  The next day, I handed the revised copy to Tom, who made the changes on the computer and asked me questions about my editing as the need arose.

(Photo:  Parseta River at Night - Kolobrzeg, Poland; November 2009)

Checking the English translation had been fun!  I was disappointed that it only kept me occupied for about 4 hours on a Thursday evening after I had taught in Trebiatow...

The next week, Tom sent me another document--this time, a letter requesting a flight change for an unknown person (unknown to me, at least).  Again, Tom asked me to check the English.  This one was a lot better.  Only a few minor corrections and I emailed the final edited letter back to Tom.  Again, I was disappointed that it only took me about 20 minutes to edit...

Yesterday evening, Tom sent me yet another document--a menu of a local health food restaurant.  I edited it this morning and sent it back to him within an hour.

Hmm...I'm thinking that I might be doing this all year.  This is going to be awesome!  :)

Invasions

Note:  I wrote this entry on August 25, 2009, three days after Nick left for Africa.  I just found out that I never finished writing it...so here it is, in all its random completeness.  :)    -Ruthie

(Photo: Nick and I; somewhere in Bellingham, WA - August 22, 2009)

Without warning, without a siren blaring its surprising entrance, without the news broadcasting this new development from every speaker in every home and on every street corner, two countries invaded. They came swiftly, suddenly, and the invasions could mean one of two things: complete disaster...or a change that is likely to alter everyone , revamping the familiar, the comfortable, in order to teach the common person a lesson in faith, hope, and all those things which we find so hard to focus on.

Africa invaded sometime last December or January, when Nick started talking about going there as a student missionary. :) He filled out all the paperwork, started his fund raising letters, and in February (perhaps it was March...), he got his official acceptance to "Go." The rest of spring and the summer months were spent preparing to go to Africa. This was not a small task. Stresses were evident and sleep was minimal. But, on August 22, 2009, we all wished Nick a good year as he flew off to worlds unknown, fully prepared to take on the challenges he would face with the help of the God he loved.

Poland invaded a loooooonnnng time ago. But you might not have known or recognized the signs unless you were looking for them.  My senior year in high school, we had a foreign exchange student from Poland come to attend our academy.  His name was Mariusz Klekotko.  He lived about a ten-minute walk from Gem State Adventist Academy.  We talked quite a bit; he would come by the English office where I graded papers to talk to me about random stuff.  My family invited him to go sledding with us during Christmas break.  It was so much fun!  He taught me how to say "dobranoc", "narazie", "czesc"...He taught me Polish phrases and taught me about Poland while I told him about the United States of America.

I did my senior project on traveling to Poland.  I wrote an essay based on a fictitious character named Samantha Holbrook who went to Poland to study abroad for a year.  I had decided that year that someday, I would travel to Poland.  I didn't know when and I didn't know how or the reasons that would eventually take me there, but I knew that I would.  And that was the beginning...

Gone to Szczecin

On Sabbath, Tom invited William and I to drive to Szczecin with him, as he was going to be the speaker at the Adventist church there.  We accepted the invitation, and boy, was I excited!  :)  It was the first time I had seen the Polish countryside in the daytime.  And while that might not seem like that big of a deal to anyone reading this blog, when I am in a new place, I want to find out everything I can about where I am.  It's nice to know what it looks like outside of town, so I can kind of get the feel of what kind of area I am living in.  So, Sabbath was amazing!  :)

We left around 8:00 in the morning and the sun had just come up over the horizon.  I love early morning sunlight; it was absolutely beautiful!  :)  It shone across the fields of grain and grass and dirt...Really amazing.  In Poland, a lot of the roads (or so I have been told) are lined with trees.  On the way to Szczecin, this was evident (see picture below).  This is what it looked like for about 1/4 of the time.  The rest of the time we had forests tucking us into our 4-lane highway.

The ride to Szczecin was uneventful.  It took us about two hours to get to the outskirts of the city and then we focused all our attention on the GPS, calling out in Polish where we should turn:  "lewy" or "prawo" (left or right).  Here, we are turning right (see picture below...hehe).

So, the picture below is of the Adventist church that we went to in Szczecin.  The photo is a little dark, because I took it after sundown after we had eaten at a church member's home.  I had forgotten to take a picture of the church when I was there that morning.  But, Tom drove us back so I could get a picture.  We met on the first floor of the church for the actual service, but Sabbath School earlier that morning was held in a classroom in a school across the street.

The Sabbath School we went to was in English.  It was nice.  About 16-18 youth were there (ages ranging from about 14-23); it was awesome!  When I walked into the classroom, I sat by a young Polish girl.  She held out her hand, said something really softly (I wasn't even sure if it required a response, so I just smiled at her), and sat down.  Then, at of the corner of my eye, I saw her gaze go down to the Bible on my lap.  A few seconds later, she started chuckling and whispered, "Oh!"  After we did our little Bible study (Number 16), the girl turned to me to explain that she had asked me what my name was and when I didn't answer she was really confused.  But, when she looked down at my Bible with English words, she realized that I had no idea what she had said.  It was pretty funny; we were both laughing as I apologized for not understanding and told her my name.  She said her name was Judyta.  She also introduced me to her friend, Natalia.

As we walked back to the church for the service, Judyta asked me several questions about where I was from, "Who is William?  Your brother?" (haha), and other such inquiries.  The one I liked best was about my age.  I was telling her what I was doing in Poland--that I was an ESL teacher up in Kolobrzeg--and she looked up at me in surprise.  "How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"  Laughing, I said "21."  She looked at me with an even more surprised expression on her face.  "How old did you think I was," I asked, smiling at her.  "I thought you were about 17 or 18."  It made me laugh again.  Then, I wondered...."How old are you?" I asked Judyta.  I was guessing about 19 or so.  "Oh I'm 16," she replied.  My jaw dropped.  Seriously?  Funny how we had opposite surprises.  :)

After church, like I said, we went over to a church member's home for lunch.  It was an older couple, probably in their late 60s.  They had invited another couple over about their age as well, a single man (about 40), and then there was Tom, William, and I.  We ate cucumber soup, and this was just the beginning of the food.  Next thing we know, homemade pierogies are making their way around the table (these were stuffed with potatoes and onion).  Then, a different kind of pierogi is moving around the table (these ones were stuffed with a sweet cheese--it tasted like dessert).  After that, a third tray came around with something delicious.  I don't know what it was called, but they were deep-fried dough filled with some kind of vegetables and mushrooms and they were excellent!  Finally, dessert was placed in the middle of the table--yellow cake with a layer of apple filling and powdered sugar on top.  Wow!  Was it delicious!  :)

After lunch, Tom drove William and I around Szczecin for a bit.  We went back to the church so I could get a picture and then walked a little farther down the road to explore around a palace in the middle of town.  Yes, a palace.  It was beautiful!

And here are some more photos of the palace and the area surrounding it...

Who knew this was in Poland?  :)  It was absolutely incredible.  William and I kept commenting that it reminded us of the pictures we have seen of certain parts of Italy (neither of us have actually been there).

After we walked around the palace for a bit, Tom decided we should probably head back to Kolobrzeg.  It was already 5:30 and we still had a two-hour drive ahead of us.  So, we left Szczecin and headed down the highway towards the Baltic Sea and "home".  After driving about 30 kilometers, traffic was at a standstill.  What was going on?  We sat for probably 10 minutes before William and I decided to venture out to walk down a ways in front of us to see what we could see.  After walking for about 10 minutes, we decided to turn around and head back to Tom.  Traffic was lined up for at least another kilometer or so.  And we could see nothing.  :(

About 45 minutes later, Tom rolled down his window to ask a passer-by (a lot of people were standing outside their cars by this point) what had happened.  He said that it was a bad accident involving a bus with passengers on it and several small cars.  Wow.  That did not sound good at all.  After thanking the man and rolling up his window, Tom didn't say much.  I suggested we pray for the people involved in the accident, so we did.  And then we waited.  About 30 minutes later, we were slowly moving forward and then we were on our way again.  The accident sight had been cleared almost completely by the time we got to it.  Thus, a 2-hour trip from Kolobrzeg to Szczecin took us 3 1/2 going back.  It was crazy.

This concludes my Sabbath in Szczecin.  I liked the church, liked the people, liked the Sabbath School, liked the sermon, liked the food, and I even got Judyta's email address.  So, all-in-all, a very fun day, filled with making new friends in Poland!  (Now I just have to add to my Polish word bank...)  :)

Baltyka Morze

Standing by any ocean or sea has always been an incredible experience for me and today was no exception.  Actually, I think that perhaps today might have been the exception, for I felt more than an incredible sense of the power of God.  I felt like He was right beside me, smiling as I took in my beautiful surroundings.  I reveled in the feeling of a divine presence beside me as I peered out at the crashing waves, almost startling me with their fierce resolve to overtake anything in their path.

(Photo:  The Old Man and the Sea...wait, is that considered plagiarism? ;)  November 13, 2009)

Try, for just a moment, imagining in your mind's eye a single wave.  Yes, one wave.  Watch it slowly roll in and build...hear the roar as it moves with ease towards the shoreline...and then it peaks, increasing in speed as it crashes down with the sound of a thunderous applause.  Over and over again, I listened to the waves, rolling, cresting, exploding with fury, and then smoothing out as they swiftly spread onto the sand.

When I was in high school (I think it was my junior year), my Bible teacher asked my class to draw a timeline.  On this timeline, we were supposed to map out our relationship with God.  "Draw your timeline like what you would see on a heart monitor: the peaks are the times you feel the closest to God, and the downward spikes are the times you feel farthest from God," he told us.  The first question I asked myself was, "Where do I start?  When I was born?  When I first recognized that God was in my life and wanted to be a part of it?  Did it start in Kindergarten when we asked Jesus into our hearts one afternoon when I was 6 years old?  Or did my relationship begin when I got baptized when I was in the 5th grade?  Or, another option...did it begin when I first struggled with God and had doubts about his presence in my life when I was in the 8th grade?  But, did doubting really mean that I felt far from God?  Or were those the times that I felt that He was more real to me than ever before?"  These questions, and others like them, bombarded my train of thought.  What had seemed a simple task was now growing and swelling to momentous proportions.  I didn't know where to start.

Finally, I told myself to at least put the pen on my paper.  I turned the single white sheet of blank paper to its landscape orientation.  I uncapped my pen.  Setting it decidedly on the paper on the left hand side, I drew a straight line across the page.  This became my neutral area.  Not feeling close to God, but not feeling far away from him either.  Then, I picked up my pen again.  Floating through the air with indecision, my pen found its mark on that gray area in the middle.  "This looks like a good place to start," I told myself and then the pen kept moving...along that same line.  No peaks upward, no spikes downward.  Just stuck in neutral.

(Photo:  Baltic Sea at 11:45am; November 13, 2009)

I thought back through the years to my first day of high school...my last day as an 8th grader...a sunny day in April I wanted to forget completely...a dreary day in December that took my breath away the year before...Thanksgiving with family...hanging out with the wrong friends...my baptism...competing with the boys in 4th grade in running the mile for the physical fitness test (I won)...learning sign language and Spanish words with my favorite first grade teacher...giving my heart to Jesus in Kindergarten...making bread with my mother at home while my older sisters went to school...

My past swarmed inside my head.  Suddenly, I glanced up at my classmates.  Surely they were all finished by now.  Yet, as I looked around, I saw the same distant look in so many of my friends' faces.  It had only been ten minutes, yet it seemed like I was moving backwards, one day at a time.  It seemed as though we were all moving backwards...to a specific day in our lives that we could pinpoint as the starting line in our relationship with God...

I wonder, will I ever be able to pinpoint that exact moment when I knew God was with me?  Will I ever be able to look back and say "That, that was the day God and I started walking together"?  So it is with every relationship in our lives.  Can we ever pinpoint where it begins?  Are we able to look back and say, "That, that was the moment I started falling for her/him"?  or "That was the day he/she and I started getting to know each other"?

Look at the waves...can you tell where they begin?  Are you able to point to a spot in the ocean and say, "That is where the wave started"?  or is it more than that?  More than you and I could ever suspect?  That there was always a wave, but that maybe it was hidden within the depths and swelled only when the water keeping it below let it rise to the surface?

Perhaps that is how God moves in our lives.  Moving just below the surface until the right conditions come along and everything else is pushed aside, finally God breaks through and swells inside our hearts.  There are days when He doesn't seem near.  But He is there; closer than you think.  There are days when He seems distant, unloving, uncaring.  But He is there; waiting for you, loving you, caring about you.  There are days it seems like He is right there beside you, smiling as you take in the life around you, the life He has given you.  And He is.

You may never be able to pinpoint the day God stepped in...because perhaps He has been with you all along...

(Photo:  Walking along the Baltic Sea; November 13, 2009)

Broken Vow by Josh Groban

Last night was hard.  I keep thinking of my friend and her situation.  I graduated from 8th grade with her.  We have grown apart through the years (she has not been a close friend of mine for some time now).  But, it still hurts to hear that another marriage has come to an end.  I don't know the reasons behind the divorce.  I don't even know when they actually signed the papers and called it "done." All I know is that I wish there could have been some other way...

I was looking for a good song to use in one of my classes and became sidetracked when I saw the title of this song come into view as I scrolled through my iTunes.  Playing it and praying like crazy, I thought of my friend and was overwhelmed by the thought that there might have been another way...

(Photo:  Rose Garden; Boise, Idaho; Summer 2008)

Broken Vow 

by Josh Groban

Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
While I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

[Chorus:]
I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

[Chorus]

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

[Modified Chorus:]
I let you go
I let you fly
Now that I know I’m asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

The Knowing of You

So, I am trying my hand at writing some random poetry...Let me know what you think.  I know it's not an update on life in Poland or pictures from Poland or anything like that.  But, know that being in a different country is very inspiring for the creative mind....  :)  Enjoy!  

Your arms felt like they were burning,

Sun-drenched pavement

On fire.

Your legs were strong as steel

Hard metal that knew

The limits.

Your chin jutted out in stubborn protest

Against my words

Against me.

Your eyes lit up like stars

Falling from the sky

At night.

Your hair brushed back from your face

Went against your warning

Eye-covering.

Your ears heard everything I said

But still did not listen

To anything.

Your mouth spoke up and tormented me

With words used only to sting

My heart.

Your nose smelled the burnt perfume

But no warning issued forth from

Your lips.

Your head turned slightly away

Told me all I needed

To know.

Your hands clenched in two fists

Shook with reigned emotion I

Could see.

Your feet scuffed up the dirt beneath you

And the tanned skin on your toes became a

Dark brown.

Your voice rattled off something random

Something the air had no space for

At all.

Your fingers hidden in your curled fists

Twitched within the comfort of your sweaty palms

I shivered.

My hands reached out to hold yours

Reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching for more

Than you.

My hands are reaching still...

(Photo:  Trees in College Place, Washington-October 2009)

Reading Backwards...

Here's the background before you start reading...As I was reading one of my friend's blogs, I found out that she just got a divorce.  She married this man two years ago.  It made me so sad to read what has been happening in her life.  I paused to contemplate what she has been going through and could not imagine how she must feel.  Then I just kept reading her blog...in reverse order.  It was a weird experience to read about her relationship with the man she married going "back in time" and it made me think that if she could just read life backwards, she'd get back to where she used to be, back to how she used to feel... So without further explanation, here it is...

Reading Backwards


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when everything was perfect
And the sun would stand still for anyone--time seeming to stop, 
(Not just for Joshua). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when your hand accidentally brushed his
And, embarrassed, your hand took on a life of its own, 
And jerked away (before a word could be said). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when the moonlight whispered promises
And the stars played a symphony for you, 
(Your heart sang the harmony). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when the dreams you had were aligned with his
And you wanted to sit with him in the dark,
(Your head resting upon his shoulder).  


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when the little things didn't matter but he did
And you discussed the big things that needed discussing, 
(Forget the silly arguments). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when you believed that God would see you through
And love really was all you needed,
(Along with faith). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when you would stay up late just to be with him
And curfews only mattered when they cut into that precious time,
(Otherwise, you'd just be sleeping anyway). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when your innocent childhood fears were extinguished
And looking into his eyes felt like being pulled from quicksand,
(You know he rescued you).  


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when your hand fit smoothly into his
And his cheek felt rough against your palm, 
(Even though he shaved every morning). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when you would give up anything to be with him
And time or distance had no power over your heart,
(Beating almost out of your chest). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Tell me that you considered all options. 
Before finally calling it "quits".  


You celebrated your 20th birthday, 
Ten days after my 21st.  


You fell in love, 
Started planning, 
Married at the end of July,
Saw your dreams and hopes come true. 


(Something changed.)


You fell out of love, 
Started planning a reversal of how you felt before, 
Divorced, 
Saw your dreams and hopes split in two. 


All in two years' time...


Please tell me you considered all the options. 


Try to read in the right direction...
And tell me that this isn't the way it always turns out. 

(Photo:  Empty park benches; Kolobrzeg, Poland--November 6, 2009)