Produce Prayers

Ok, so short story for all of you:  I was on my way to buy groceries at the local grocery store.  It is about a 3-minute walk from my apartment.  On my way there, I was mentally making a checklist of things that I thought I should buy.  On that list were apples and bananas.  Then, I realized that I still didn't know how to use the produce weighing machine (everything is in Polish, mind you, and when I have been there before, no one has been buying produce).  But I REALLY wanted apples and bananas.  


So, I said a quick prayer--"Jesus, please help me out here.  When I go into the store, please let someone be buying produce.  I don't care what they buy, but let me be able to see how they use the machine so that I can buy my apples and bananas."  


I walked into the store.  A teenager came in right after me.  She swished past me and quickly grabbed a lemon.  Carrying it to the produce weighing machine, she pushed a couple buttons and off she went to pay for her one lemon...By this time, I was almost laughing out loud.  It was awesome!  When I left the store, I said, "God, you are AWESOME!  Thank you!"  


Then, I walked back to my apartment to enjoy my apples and bananas.  :)

a single thought

When words are too eloquent...

Just live.  

a single conversation

I have missed you.  I feel like I am doing this on my own, and in a way, I am.  But, I am also never alone.  You have told me this fact over and over and over again.  Yet, somehow I always trip up on that word "never".  For, there are times when I cannot compete with the strings pulling my heart in multiple directions.  The tug-of-war rages on inside me and I don't want it to continue.  But, I fear that I am the one who initiated the game.  It is no longer a game, though.  This is very real and I feel it every time I crawl into my bed at night, wanting to drift off into sweet slumber...but, I find that I am kept awake by this strain on my heart. 

Last night, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.  So, I cried out to you.  And you heard me.  But I still could not sleep.  I stayed awake and I talked to you.  I told you what my hopes were, my fears, my desires.  And you heard me.  But still I could not sleep.  So, I kept talking.  Kept spilling out my deepest secrets, fears, wants, pain...some of the wounds run through my body still.  They have not become scabs and the pain intensifies with every shaky breath I take.  And you heard me.  But still I could not sleep.  There were more words.  So I kept talking.

The tears ran freely and I spoke your name in a whisper.  It sounded like a scream to me, but no one came running...except for you.  I had been wondering how long I could keep silent.  I found my answer last night.  You speak so many languages...and I find that no matter where I go, you still understand me.  Whether I speak in a human tongue or with my heart's poundings and irregular rhythms, you still listen and you heard me last night.

Silently, swiftly, the darkness closed in around me and when I was spent from calling out your name, sleep covered me with its comforting shroud.  And I finally let go....to sleep.

(Photo:  Trees on WWU Campus; January 2009)

A Song and a Prayer

So, I have to confess that I have listened to a single song about twice a day since I have left the United States back in October.  Every time I listen to it, it makes me really THINK about why I am here.

"The Lost Get Found"

by Britt Nicole

Hello my friend
I remember when you were
So alive with your wide eyes
Then the light that you had in your heart was stolen
Now you say that it ain't worth stayin'
You wanna run but you're hesitatin'
I'm talkin' to me

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There's a girl on the streets, she's cryin'
There's a man whose faith is dyin'
Love is calling you

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
(Stand out)
Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
(Stand out)
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it 

(Photo:  Reaching to the Sky, the Baltic Sea - November 2009)

Why am I here?  What is my purpose?  I ponder that so often.  But, you know what makes it so clear to me?  My students.  I prepare my lessons before class, write down my plans before I walk into the classroom, fret about forgetting some vital thing before I head over to the school, and then IT happens.  I stand up to teach.  And that is when I realize that I am a teacher.  I am responsible for teaching children.  No matter what subject I am supposed to etch into their little brains (don't worry - it's not that brutal, I promise), what do I really want to teach them?

The first things that come to mind are these:  love for others, trust in me as their teacher, belief in themselves, faith in a power higher than themselves, a desire for learning...and the list goes on.  But then the nitty gritty question:  How do I teach all those things without stating it explicitly?

1 John 3:18 says (in two different versions):

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." (NIV)

"Children, you show love for others by truly helping them, and not by merely talking about it." (CEV)

Since being here, I have had regular worship in the mornings (reading from the Bible) and nightly devotions (reading from an Ellen White devotional book).  I started having nightly devotions when I was back in the States with Nick at WWU.  We met together every night before we headed off to our separate "homes" (I lived in the dorm, he lived in an apartment) and read a page or two out of the Bible or just a page out of the devotional book.  The first book we started reading together was Steps to Christ (E.G.W.).  I enjoyed that book very much; I think being able to talk to Nick about the things we read made it that much better.  :)  Now we are going through a devotional book called "The Faith I Live By" (E.G.W.).  Nick and I each have a copy of the book, so every evening in Africa, Nick reads a page.  And a couple hours later, I read a page in Poland.  It's nice to know that even though we are (literally) worlds apart, we still stay connected in whatever ways we can find.  :)

Morning worship also started because of Nick, in a sort of indirect way.  Whenever I was lucky enough, I would see him reading a chapter or two out of the Bible in the mornings and then he would have a personal prayer.  I enjoyed watching him and I started thinking about starting morning devotions myself.  I had tried years earlier, but "something" (excuses, excuses) always happened so that I would eventually stop having them.  Then I would get this guilty feeling inside that I disliked greatly.  Instead of pushing me towards the Bible, that feeling pulled me away from God...

Through all of this, Nick suggested every now and again that I should start morning devotions.  He was never pushy towards me to start, nor was he lenient on his own devotions.  He was consistent with them every morning and it was this that spoke more to me than any of the words he could have spoken.

(Photo:  This is the school where I teach - it's a local public school.  

School by the Sea rents classrooms for each group we have to teach.  

I usually teach in rooms 211 and 208.)

I started morning devotions the week after Nick left for Africa in August.  I struggled to keep it consistent at first.  Once, I went a week without reading the Bible at all.  The next week, I read two chapters every day to make up for the seven I missed out on the previous week.  A week later, I skipped two mornings.  The next morning, I read three chapters to make up for the two that I missed the previous two mornings.  And so it went.  The day I left Portland, Oregon for Poland, I made a decision.  I told myself that I would not let my personal devotions/worships "fall by the wayside" (so to speak).  I would be actively taking part in them every morning, and every evening.  And I have.  I have realized, even more since being here, that prayer really is an amazing thing.

Prayer has spilled over to other areas in my life as well (not just right after I wake up or right before I go to sleep).  Ephesians 6:18 says, "Never stop praying, especially for others.  Always pray by the power of the Spirit.  Stay alert and keep praying for God's people." (CEV)  I have started praying for each of my classes before I walk into the classroom.  My classes go a whole lot better if I give the students to God before I even begin the lesson.  I know when I have not prayed before a class...I get stressed more easily and the students are less likely to pay attention to the lesson.  It really is an amazing thing.  Prayer changes things.  Believe it.  :)

I may not be able to change the world by myself, but with God on my side, who's to say I can't?  :)

When you get the chance, are you gonna take it?  
There's a really big world at your fingertips 
And you know you have the chance to change it.

English Translations

It was the second week I was here.  Tom asked me if I could look over something for him to check the English usage.  I agreed and he sent me a 16-page document containing information for a resort in Poland.  Tom wanted it done (if possible) the next morning.  It had been translated into English from the Polish version.  My job was to check the translation and to make changes as needed.  The translator did a pretty good job, but there were many grammatical errors.  I crossed out, circled, and revamped the document until I was satisfied with the way it sounded.  The next day, I handed the revised copy to Tom, who made the changes on the computer and asked me questions about my editing as the need arose.

(Photo:  Parseta River at Night - Kolobrzeg, Poland; November 2009)

Checking the English translation had been fun!  I was disappointed that it only kept me occupied for about 4 hours on a Thursday evening after I had taught in Trebiatow...

The next week, Tom sent me another document--this time, a letter requesting a flight change for an unknown person (unknown to me, at least).  Again, Tom asked me to check the English.  This one was a lot better.  Only a few minor corrections and I emailed the final edited letter back to Tom.  Again, I was disappointed that it only took me about 20 minutes to edit...

Yesterday evening, Tom sent me yet another document--a menu of a local health food restaurant.  I edited it this morning and sent it back to him within an hour.

Hmm...I'm thinking that I might be doing this all year.  This is going to be awesome!  :)

Invasions

Note:  I wrote this entry on August 25, 2009, three days after Nick left for Africa.  I just found out that I never finished writing it...so here it is, in all its random completeness.  :)    -Ruthie

(Photo: Nick and I; somewhere in Bellingham, WA - August 22, 2009)

Without warning, without a siren blaring its surprising entrance, without the news broadcasting this new development from every speaker in every home and on every street corner, two countries invaded. They came swiftly, suddenly, and the invasions could mean one of two things: complete disaster...or a change that is likely to alter everyone , revamping the familiar, the comfortable, in order to teach the common person a lesson in faith, hope, and all those things which we find so hard to focus on.

Africa invaded sometime last December or January, when Nick started talking about going there as a student missionary. :) He filled out all the paperwork, started his fund raising letters, and in February (perhaps it was March...), he got his official acceptance to "Go." The rest of spring and the summer months were spent preparing to go to Africa. This was not a small task. Stresses were evident and sleep was minimal. But, on August 22, 2009, we all wished Nick a good year as he flew off to worlds unknown, fully prepared to take on the challenges he would face with the help of the God he loved.

Poland invaded a loooooonnnng time ago. But you might not have known or recognized the signs unless you were looking for them.  My senior year in high school, we had a foreign exchange student from Poland come to attend our academy.  His name was Mariusz Klekotko.  He lived about a ten-minute walk from Gem State Adventist Academy.  We talked quite a bit; he would come by the English office where I graded papers to talk to me about random stuff.  My family invited him to go sledding with us during Christmas break.  It was so much fun!  He taught me how to say "dobranoc", "narazie", "czesc"...He taught me Polish phrases and taught me about Poland while I told him about the United States of America.

I did my senior project on traveling to Poland.  I wrote an essay based on a fictitious character named Samantha Holbrook who went to Poland to study abroad for a year.  I had decided that year that someday, I would travel to Poland.  I didn't know when and I didn't know how or the reasons that would eventually take me there, but I knew that I would.  And that was the beginning...

Gone to Szczecin

On Sabbath, Tom invited William and I to drive to Szczecin with him, as he was going to be the speaker at the Adventist church there.  We accepted the invitation, and boy, was I excited!  :)  It was the first time I had seen the Polish countryside in the daytime.  And while that might not seem like that big of a deal to anyone reading this blog, when I am in a new place, I want to find out everything I can about where I am.  It's nice to know what it looks like outside of town, so I can kind of get the feel of what kind of area I am living in.  So, Sabbath was amazing!  :)

We left around 8:00 in the morning and the sun had just come up over the horizon.  I love early morning sunlight; it was absolutely beautiful!  :)  It shone across the fields of grain and grass and dirt...Really amazing.  In Poland, a lot of the roads (or so I have been told) are lined with trees.  On the way to Szczecin, this was evident (see picture below).  This is what it looked like for about 1/4 of the time.  The rest of the time we had forests tucking us into our 4-lane highway.

The ride to Szczecin was uneventful.  It took us about two hours to get to the outskirts of the city and then we focused all our attention on the GPS, calling out in Polish where we should turn:  "lewy" or "prawo" (left or right).  Here, we are turning right (see picture below...hehe).

So, the picture below is of the Adventist church that we went to in Szczecin.  The photo is a little dark, because I took it after sundown after we had eaten at a church member's home.  I had forgotten to take a picture of the church when I was there that morning.  But, Tom drove us back so I could get a picture.  We met on the first floor of the church for the actual service, but Sabbath School earlier that morning was held in a classroom in a school across the street.

The Sabbath School we went to was in English.  It was nice.  About 16-18 youth were there (ages ranging from about 14-23); it was awesome!  When I walked into the classroom, I sat by a young Polish girl.  She held out her hand, said something really softly (I wasn't even sure if it required a response, so I just smiled at her), and sat down.  Then, at of the corner of my eye, I saw her gaze go down to the Bible on my lap.  A few seconds later, she started chuckling and whispered, "Oh!"  After we did our little Bible study (Number 16), the girl turned to me to explain that she had asked me what my name was and when I didn't answer she was really confused.  But, when she looked down at my Bible with English words, she realized that I had no idea what she had said.  It was pretty funny; we were both laughing as I apologized for not understanding and told her my name.  She said her name was Judyta.  She also introduced me to her friend, Natalia.

As we walked back to the church for the service, Judyta asked me several questions about where I was from, "Who is William?  Your brother?" (haha), and other such inquiries.  The one I liked best was about my age.  I was telling her what I was doing in Poland--that I was an ESL teacher up in Kolobrzeg--and she looked up at me in surprise.  "How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"  Laughing, I said "21."  She looked at me with an even more surprised expression on her face.  "How old did you think I was," I asked, smiling at her.  "I thought you were about 17 or 18."  It made me laugh again.  Then, I wondered...."How old are you?" I asked Judyta.  I was guessing about 19 or so.  "Oh I'm 16," she replied.  My jaw dropped.  Seriously?  Funny how we had opposite surprises.  :)

After church, like I said, we went over to a church member's home for lunch.  It was an older couple, probably in their late 60s.  They had invited another couple over about their age as well, a single man (about 40), and then there was Tom, William, and I.  We ate cucumber soup, and this was just the beginning of the food.  Next thing we know, homemade pierogies are making their way around the table (these were stuffed with potatoes and onion).  Then, a different kind of pierogi is moving around the table (these ones were stuffed with a sweet cheese--it tasted like dessert).  After that, a third tray came around with something delicious.  I don't know what it was called, but they were deep-fried dough filled with some kind of vegetables and mushrooms and they were excellent!  Finally, dessert was placed in the middle of the table--yellow cake with a layer of apple filling and powdered sugar on top.  Wow!  Was it delicious!  :)

After lunch, Tom drove William and I around Szczecin for a bit.  We went back to the church so I could get a picture and then walked a little farther down the road to explore around a palace in the middle of town.  Yes, a palace.  It was beautiful!

And here are some more photos of the palace and the area surrounding it...

Who knew this was in Poland?  :)  It was absolutely incredible.  William and I kept commenting that it reminded us of the pictures we have seen of certain parts of Italy (neither of us have actually been there).

After we walked around the palace for a bit, Tom decided we should probably head back to Kolobrzeg.  It was already 5:30 and we still had a two-hour drive ahead of us.  So, we left Szczecin and headed down the highway towards the Baltic Sea and "home".  After driving about 30 kilometers, traffic was at a standstill.  What was going on?  We sat for probably 10 minutes before William and I decided to venture out to walk down a ways in front of us to see what we could see.  After walking for about 10 minutes, we decided to turn around and head back to Tom.  Traffic was lined up for at least another kilometer or so.  And we could see nothing.  :(

About 45 minutes later, Tom rolled down his window to ask a passer-by (a lot of people were standing outside their cars by this point) what had happened.  He said that it was a bad accident involving a bus with passengers on it and several small cars.  Wow.  That did not sound good at all.  After thanking the man and rolling up his window, Tom didn't say much.  I suggested we pray for the people involved in the accident, so we did.  And then we waited.  About 30 minutes later, we were slowly moving forward and then we were on our way again.  The accident sight had been cleared almost completely by the time we got to it.  Thus, a 2-hour trip from Kolobrzeg to Szczecin took us 3 1/2 going back.  It was crazy.

This concludes my Sabbath in Szczecin.  I liked the church, liked the people, liked the Sabbath School, liked the sermon, liked the food, and I even got Judyta's email address.  So, all-in-all, a very fun day, filled with making new friends in Poland!  (Now I just have to add to my Polish word bank...)  :)

Baltyka Morze

Standing by any ocean or sea has always been an incredible experience for me and today was no exception.  Actually, I think that perhaps today might have been the exception, for I felt more than an incredible sense of the power of God.  I felt like He was right beside me, smiling as I took in my beautiful surroundings.  I reveled in the feeling of a divine presence beside me as I peered out at the crashing waves, almost startling me with their fierce resolve to overtake anything in their path.

(Photo:  The Old Man and the Sea...wait, is that considered plagiarism? ;)  November 13, 2009)

Try, for just a moment, imagining in your mind's eye a single wave.  Yes, one wave.  Watch it slowly roll in and build...hear the roar as it moves with ease towards the shoreline...and then it peaks, increasing in speed as it crashes down with the sound of a thunderous applause.  Over and over again, I listened to the waves, rolling, cresting, exploding with fury, and then smoothing out as they swiftly spread onto the sand.

When I was in high school (I think it was my junior year), my Bible teacher asked my class to draw a timeline.  On this timeline, we were supposed to map out our relationship with God.  "Draw your timeline like what you would see on a heart monitor: the peaks are the times you feel the closest to God, and the downward spikes are the times you feel farthest from God," he told us.  The first question I asked myself was, "Where do I start?  When I was born?  When I first recognized that God was in my life and wanted to be a part of it?  Did it start in Kindergarten when we asked Jesus into our hearts one afternoon when I was 6 years old?  Or did my relationship begin when I got baptized when I was in the 5th grade?  Or, another option...did it begin when I first struggled with God and had doubts about his presence in my life when I was in the 8th grade?  But, did doubting really mean that I felt far from God?  Or were those the times that I felt that He was more real to me than ever before?"  These questions, and others like them, bombarded my train of thought.  What had seemed a simple task was now growing and swelling to momentous proportions.  I didn't know where to start.

Finally, I told myself to at least put the pen on my paper.  I turned the single white sheet of blank paper to its landscape orientation.  I uncapped my pen.  Setting it decidedly on the paper on the left hand side, I drew a straight line across the page.  This became my neutral area.  Not feeling close to God, but not feeling far away from him either.  Then, I picked up my pen again.  Floating through the air with indecision, my pen found its mark on that gray area in the middle.  "This looks like a good place to start," I told myself and then the pen kept moving...along that same line.  No peaks upward, no spikes downward.  Just stuck in neutral.

(Photo:  Baltic Sea at 11:45am; November 13, 2009)

I thought back through the years to my first day of high school...my last day as an 8th grader...a sunny day in April I wanted to forget completely...a dreary day in December that took my breath away the year before...Thanksgiving with family...hanging out with the wrong friends...my baptism...competing with the boys in 4th grade in running the mile for the physical fitness test (I won)...learning sign language and Spanish words with my favorite first grade teacher...giving my heart to Jesus in Kindergarten...making bread with my mother at home while my older sisters went to school...

My past swarmed inside my head.  Suddenly, I glanced up at my classmates.  Surely they were all finished by now.  Yet, as I looked around, I saw the same distant look in so many of my friends' faces.  It had only been ten minutes, yet it seemed like I was moving backwards, one day at a time.  It seemed as though we were all moving backwards...to a specific day in our lives that we could pinpoint as the starting line in our relationship with God...

I wonder, will I ever be able to pinpoint that exact moment when I knew God was with me?  Will I ever be able to look back and say "That, that was the day God and I started walking together"?  So it is with every relationship in our lives.  Can we ever pinpoint where it begins?  Are we able to look back and say, "That, that was the moment I started falling for her/him"?  or "That was the day he/she and I started getting to know each other"?

Look at the waves...can you tell where they begin?  Are you able to point to a spot in the ocean and say, "That is where the wave started"?  or is it more than that?  More than you and I could ever suspect?  That there was always a wave, but that maybe it was hidden within the depths and swelled only when the water keeping it below let it rise to the surface?

Perhaps that is how God moves in our lives.  Moving just below the surface until the right conditions come along and everything else is pushed aside, finally God breaks through and swells inside our hearts.  There are days when He doesn't seem near.  But He is there; closer than you think.  There are days when He seems distant, unloving, uncaring.  But He is there; waiting for you, loving you, caring about you.  There are days it seems like He is right there beside you, smiling as you take in the life around you, the life He has given you.  And He is.

You may never be able to pinpoint the day God stepped in...because perhaps He has been with you all along...

(Photo:  Walking along the Baltic Sea; November 13, 2009)

Broken Vow by Josh Groban

Last night was hard.  I keep thinking of my friend and her situation.  I graduated from 8th grade with her.  We have grown apart through the years (she has not been a close friend of mine for some time now).  But, it still hurts to hear that another marriage has come to an end.  I don't know the reasons behind the divorce.  I don't even know when they actually signed the papers and called it "done." All I know is that I wish there could have been some other way...

I was looking for a good song to use in one of my classes and became sidetracked when I saw the title of this song come into view as I scrolled through my iTunes.  Playing it and praying like crazy, I thought of my friend and was overwhelmed by the thought that there might have been another way...

(Photo:  Rose Garden; Boise, Idaho; Summer 2008)

Broken Vow 

by Josh Groban

Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
While I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

[Chorus:]
I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

[Chorus]

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

[Modified Chorus:]
I let you go
I let you fly
Now that I know I’m asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

The Knowing of You

So, I am trying my hand at writing some random poetry...Let me know what you think.  I know it's not an update on life in Poland or pictures from Poland or anything like that.  But, know that being in a different country is very inspiring for the creative mind....  :)  Enjoy!  

Your arms felt like they were burning,

Sun-drenched pavement

On fire.

Your legs were strong as steel

Hard metal that knew

The limits.

Your chin jutted out in stubborn protest

Against my words

Against me.

Your eyes lit up like stars

Falling from the sky

At night.

Your hair brushed back from your face

Went against your warning

Eye-covering.

Your ears heard everything I said

But still did not listen

To anything.

Your mouth spoke up and tormented me

With words used only to sting

My heart.

Your nose smelled the burnt perfume

But no warning issued forth from

Your lips.

Your head turned slightly away

Told me all I needed

To know.

Your hands clenched in two fists

Shook with reigned emotion I

Could see.

Your feet scuffed up the dirt beneath you

And the tanned skin on your toes became a

Dark brown.

Your voice rattled off something random

Something the air had no space for

At all.

Your fingers hidden in your curled fists

Twitched within the comfort of your sweaty palms

I shivered.

My hands reached out to hold yours

Reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching for more

Than you.

My hands are reaching still...

(Photo:  Trees in College Place, Washington-October 2009)

Reading Backwards...

Here's the background before you start reading...As I was reading one of my friend's blogs, I found out that she just got a divorce.  She married this man two years ago.  It made me so sad to read what has been happening in her life.  I paused to contemplate what she has been going through and could not imagine how she must feel.  Then I just kept reading her blog...in reverse order.  It was a weird experience to read about her relationship with the man she married going "back in time" and it made me think that if she could just read life backwards, she'd get back to where she used to be, back to how she used to feel... So without further explanation, here it is...

Reading Backwards


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when everything was perfect
And the sun would stand still for anyone--time seeming to stop, 
(Not just for Joshua). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when your hand accidentally brushed his
And, embarrassed, your hand took on a life of its own, 
And jerked away (before a word could be said). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when the moonlight whispered promises
And the stars played a symphony for you, 
(Your heart sang the harmony). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when the dreams you had were aligned with his
And you wanted to sit with him in the dark,
(Your head resting upon his shoulder).  


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when the little things didn't matter but he did
And you discussed the big things that needed discussing, 
(Forget the silly arguments). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when you believed that God would see you through
And love really was all you needed,
(Along with faith). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when you would stay up late just to be with him
And curfews only mattered when they cut into that precious time,
(Otherwise, you'd just be sleeping anyway). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when your innocent childhood fears were extinguished
And looking into his eyes felt like being pulled from quicksand,
(You know he rescued you).  


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when your hand fit smoothly into his
And his cheek felt rough against your palm, 
(Even though he shaved every morning). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Back to when you would give up anything to be with him
And time or distance had no power over your heart,
(Beating almost out of your chest). 


Start at the end and work your way back. 
Tell me that you considered all options. 
Before finally calling it "quits".  


You celebrated your 20th birthday, 
Ten days after my 21st.  


You fell in love, 
Started planning, 
Married at the end of July,
Saw your dreams and hopes come true. 


(Something changed.)


You fell out of love, 
Started planning a reversal of how you felt before, 
Divorced, 
Saw your dreams and hopes split in two. 


All in two years' time...


Please tell me you considered all the options. 


Try to read in the right direction...
And tell me that this isn't the way it always turns out. 

(Photo:  Empty park benches; Kolobrzeg, Poland--November 6, 2009)

Isn't it strange?

Isn't it strange how we so often forget the little things that used to bring a smile to our face?   When I was little, I remember singing "Jesus Loves Me" and how happy and proud I was to raise my voice during that song and let everyone hear that my Jesus loved me.  Now, I rarely think of that song anymore.  Rather, I listen to songs that say "My Savior lives, my Savior loves, my Savior's always there for me..." or "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!" or "My chains are gone, I've been set free!  My God, my Savior has died for me!" I now understand "big" words and those that are found in a lot of Christian songs (e.g. Savior, wretch, grace, chains) have ceased to confuse me.

But oh!  So often we forget the melody that sounded so sweet to our innocent ears!

Jesus loves me this I know. 
For the Bible tells me so. 
Little ones to Him belong. 
They are weak, but He is strong. 


Yes, Jesus loves me! 
Yes, Jesus loves me! 
Yes, Jesus loves me!  
The Bible tells me so.


Friday night, I was on my way over to William's apartment to enjoy some homemade cornbread that he had made.  Tucked under my arm was a can of peaches for us to top off the delicious "Johnny Cake" (William is from the midwest, you understand...but he did tell me that cornbread and Johnny Cake are two different things...I don't remember which one he made; all I do know is that it was so good!).  On my quick 3-minute walk over to his apartment building, I had "Jesus Loves Me" stuck in my head.  You want to know why?  Here's the story...

I had been out all day going grocery shopping and walking around town taking pictures and enjoying the scenery of Kolobrzeg.  Before I had left the apartment to go shopping, Halina had made a tantalizing vegetable soup with tea to drink with it.  While I was out, I was contemplating how sweet life was and how blessed I am to be able to live with such a Godly woman, one who always wants to make me feel comfortable, especially since I am so far away from home.  I was also thinking how blessed I was to have a new friend here--William.  We enjoy our time together and it is so nice to be able to talk to someone from "back home", someone who understands a lot of the things I talk about, someone I can ask for advice on how to be a better teacher and make lessons interesting for the kids (he has been teaching about a month longer than I have).

Another thing I was thinking about was how very loved I really do feel.  I have a family who prays for me and sends me yummy chocolate-chip cookies (and spends $10 to send the package--now that's love right there).  I have two sisters who have sweet husbands and beautiful children who are excited for my adventures in Poland and want to hear all about it and want to know that I am safe.  I am dating a truly amazing man whom I love very much and am always excited to hear from.  I met an awesome family that consists of Nick's mom, dad, and 3 brothers, plus a pretty lady who has quickly become my friend (yes, Erin, that is you).  :)  There are so many things that God has brought to my attention recently that have made me smile from ear to ear.  Life is sweet as cukier trzcinowy (brown sugar)!  ;)

(Photo:  Kolobrzeg, seen from the other side of the city...November 6, 2009)

As I walked along the sidewalk (the one I have strode upon for two weeks now and know almost by heart), I realized that God is so good!  Why do I so often doubt Him when things are not going the way I expected them to go or when something I want just isn't happening "fast enough".  Why do I doubt the Creator of the world when He says wait?  Why do I always take it to mean that it will never happen?  Being in Kolobrzeg is teaching me a lesson in patience.  I have heard the phrase "waiting on God" many times, but only very few times in my life have I actually experienced it.  Now is one of those times.

I went to my last destination right before sundown and then headed back to the apartment to wait until it was time to walk over to William's for dinner.  I unlocked the door, called out a friendly "Dzien dobry (Good day)!" to Halina and Michelle (her 7-year-old granddaughter who comes over quite frequently), and then took my warm outer layers off--scarf, hat, gloves, winter coat.  I hung my coat in my closet, placed the other things on a shelf, and then pulled out the book the have been reading ever since I left Portland, Oregon, "For His Honor" by Terry Johnsson.  I lay on my bed, contemplating the life of a Christian man told when he was in grade school that he was "retarded" and would "never make it to 4th grade," a man who struggled to do what was right, a man who eventually became the first African American, handicapped (dyslexic) Honor Guard for the President of the United States.

I was overcome by the feeling of power and of strength.  No matter how I had been feeling the past few days, why was the overwhelming thought "I am alone"?  Haven't I always claimed Philippians 4:13 as my favorite Bible text?  Then, why was it, when I felt the most alone, did I forget the promise that "I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength"?  And then, it began.  Softly at first, but increasing in volume with each new verse...

"...Jesus loves me! 
Yes, Jesus loves me! 
Yes, Jesus loves me!  
The Bible tells me so..."


Where was it coming from?  Down the hall, two rooms on my left.  Who was singing?  Halina and her granddaughter.  They were singing the melody to "Jesus Loves Me" in Polish.  The English version flitted through my head and I paused in my reading to listen to the sweet sound of a grandmother and granddaughter singing together.

So, as I got ready to leave, I once again donned my coat, my hat, my gloves, my scarf.  But this time, instead of rushing over to get out of the biting chilly air, I took my time and sang aloud for anyone to hear.

Jesus loves me this I know 
For the Bible tells me so. 
Little ones to Him belong. 
They are weak, but He is strong.  


Yes, Jesus loves me! 
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

(Photo:  Skylight at the Beach; Walking along the Baltic coast, November 1, 2009)

I Dedicate This to Nicholas

SLUGBUG, RED!!!!  :)  Ha!  Bet you can't beat that!  :)

Pizza in Kolobrzeg

Wednesday night, after we were finished teaching classes, William and I went to a pizza place located down a side street in Kolobrzeg.  It is called "Retro Pizza," which sounds funny to me.  :)  Anyway, William had been here before and one of the guys who was working that night spoke a little bit of English.  We conversed for a few moments before William ordered a vegetarian pizza with thick crust.  Then we sat down to wait.  

The pizza place really is a very stylish little restaurant.  It has nooks and crannies where the tables are located and even has a conference room off to the side.  It is in the basement of an apartment complex.  The door is down right off the sidewalk; you just have to go down a few stairs to get there.  

We got our pizza about fifteen minutes after we arrived and it smelled delicious!  It had the crust (obviously), tomato sauce, cheese, mushrooms, bell peppers, corn, and peas.  And oh wow!  Was it tasty!  :)  William had also ordered garlic sauce to dip the pizza slices into and that was yummy as well.  

As we ate, William and I went over some Polish phrases and he tried to teach me how to count in Polish.  Here, I will give you a taste of what I was going through.  This is a list of number 1-15 in Polish:  

1=jeden

2=dwa

3=trzy

4=cztery

5=piec

6=szesc

7=siedem

8=osiem

9=dziewiec

10=dziesiec

11=jedenascie

12=dwanascie

13=trzynascie

14=czternascie

15=pietnascie

There.  Know how to say them yet?  Haha!  Yes...now you know how I felt.  :)  And, here is an example of using the a number in a sentence:  Mam dwadziescia jeden lat.  (I am 21 years old.)  Oh and just so you know, I do not have the punctuation right on most of the numbers.  A lot of them have a mark over the c and the s, and sometimes the z.  So good luck with that.  :) 

Anyway, back to the pizza place.  :)  William and I had a lot of fun trying to say the Polish phrases and numbers.  We were thinking that the guy who was working on making pizzas at the counter was probably laughing his head off at us.  :)  But, we had a good time and left shortly after 21:00 (9:00pm for those of you who do not know "army" time-every time here is written in that manner).  

William has been taking a class two days a week for the past 4 or 5 weeks to try to learn Polish.  I joined him in class this past Monday, but was unable to go on Wednesday because I had so much lesson-planning to do.  William already knows quite a bit:  alphabet, colors, numbers, some simple sentences, etc.  So, I certainly feel as though I am jumping into the middle of this class.  We will see how it goes in the next few weeks!  Ooh!  Here is the first Polish sentence I ever wrote:  Kluczy jest na stole.  (The keys are on the table...).  I hope I spelled that right.  Woohoo for foreign languages!  :)

Yesterday, I went to a kava cafe (a small coffee shop).  I bought myself czekoladowa kava (chocolate coffee) for 8 Zloty (about $2.75 USD) and sat down at the cute little table to drink my coffee and write in my notebook.  The lady working even lit the candle for me as she left my table.  It was fun!  :)  I think I might go back in the future when I can spend a bit more time there.  Maybe I will even bring my journal with me (which, by the way, I am having a hard time remembering to write in...I know, I know...I will want it later...).  :)  

(Photo:  Czekoladowa Kava; Kolorbzeg, Poland-November 5, 2009)

I hope all of you are doing well and are happy and enjoying life.  I will leave you with something that has been stuck in my head for the past couple of days:  "How did life get so sweet without my realizing it?"  And remember that life really is sweet and that God really is good and that with Him, you can do anything!  That includes going to a foreign country to teach, moving to Africa for a year to be a clinic-director, staying at home and raising your beautiful child/children, going to work every day to help others in your daily tasks, doing surgery to help people see clearly for maybe the first time in their life, preparing a children's story for church about the Witch of Endor, or managing your own business.  No matter how you are feeling or how others make you feel, God will always be beside you, holding your hand saying, "Don't give up.  I am rooting for you!"  :)  Yes, life really is sweet.  :)

Happy Sabbath, everyone!  :)

Photos, As Requested...

Another photo blog, because some of you would rather look at pictures than read my interesting stories.  ;)

This is the view down one of the main streets in Kolobrzeg, Poland taken from a park nearby.  See the plants spelling out "Kolobrzeg"? Also, this is the street that the office of School by the Sea is on. Later, I will post a picture of the office.  The spire in the background is on a cathedral in the middle of downtown.  Right now, they have ladders, platforms and the like all the way around the cathedral, because they are cleaning the bricks and re-mortaring it (if that's even a word...).  William (SM from Andrews) and I went inside the cathedral last Saturday evening (it's unlocked all the time, I am told) and it is BEAUTIFUL!

This picture was taken right after the previous one.  I turned around from looking at a main street in Kolobrzeg and snapped this picture of the park I was standing in.  The fountain in the middle looks like a dandelion head.  It's so cool!

Me, as a tree-hugger.  Yes, it's true.  :)  They have a line of "people" set up to support saving Planet Earth.  The line-up started in Poznan, Poland in December of 2008 and came to Kolobrzeg earlier this year.  After Kolobrzeg, it will go to Copenhagen, Denmark for a Climate Conference.  It has also been "invited" to travel to New York City.  As it goes to different cities, another "person" is added to the line-up.  In Kolobrzeg, they added me.  ;)

Meet William, the SM from Andrews University.  He is pointing out our current location on the map of Kolobrzeg.  We were headed to the coast for my first look at the Baltic Sea!  :)  Random note, but we have had two people from church tell us that we look like twins and/or brother and sister.  It's pretty funny.

Welcome to the Baltic Sea in Kolobrzeg, Poland!  :)

This is 100% sok (juice) and Kokosowe(coconut)-filled chocolate cereal.  SO GOOD!  :)  I bought it on my first trip to the grocery store with Tom and William.

This is the view from out my window.  The morning I took this (October 29), it was sunny!  But, normally, it is gray outside.  Also, the yellow looking thing in the middle of the picture is not always there.  They had a cyrk (circus) last Friday (October 30).  Too bad it was held after sundown.  I so would have gone!  :)

This is a fountain in the center of Kolobrzeg.  Isn't it interesting?  :)  Quite the fountain!

Looking down at train tracks.  The train depot is on the left at the top of the photo.  A train went under me as I stood on this bridge taking a couple of photos.  Pretty neat.  :)

I went back to the Baltic Sea last Thursday, because I had the time and it was SUNNY!  Beautiful.  Absolutely an incredible experience to stand on the beach and watch the waves come in...very inspiring.  :)

Sundown out my window (another angle).  I am sad that I couldn't see the actual sun setting, but the sky was pretty from my room anyway.  :)

A regal-looking swan on the beach.  :)  They are a lot of them.  I took this picture on a Sabbath afternoon when I went for a walk around Kolobrzeg.  There were about probably 10-20 swans on the beach, almost begging for food.  William and I decided we are going to buy a loaf of bread just for the swans someday.  :)  Oh and in case you were wondering, yes, I am only about 4 feet away from this swan.  They are quite tame, actually.  :)  So many tourists in the summer, you know.  :)

View of the Baltyka Morze (Baltic Sea).

So, for those of you who have been wanting more pictures, I hope this helps!  :)  Ooh!  And remember, you can always ask me questions if you have any.  I would love to answer them (if I can)!  :)  Have a wonderful Monday!  (I am already halfway through my Monday!)  ;)

Survey of My First Week in Poland - 26-30 October 2009

How was your week?  Amazing!  I taught my first class alone on Tuesday and taught another class by myself on Thursday evening.  I felt very accomplished by the time Friday rolled around.

How many classes do you teach?  I teach 4 classes, 4 nights a week (Monday-Thursday).

How many tutor students do you have?  I have 4 tutor students, 3 days a week (Monday-Wednesday); I might be getting a couple more tutor students as the weeks go on.  

What is the age range of each class that you teach?

Friends 3 Group:  ages 12-13 with 6 students (4 girls, 2 boys): Iza, Justyna, Michal, Greg, Bogna, Paulina.

Friends 2 Group:  ages 10-12 with 7 students (4 girls, 3 boys):  Jack, Tomak, Piotek, Ola, Pola, Iza, Justyna.

Energy 2 Group:  ages 12-13 with 3 students (1 girl, 2 boys):  Konrad, Lucas, Zuzia

English File Group:  ages 15 and 26 (1 boy, 1 girl):  Pzemek, Ana

What was the first Polish word or phrase you used in Poland?  Dzien dobry (Good Day) to Halina, my "landlady."

What did you do your first day in Poland?  I had tea with Halina (molina herbata--raspberry tea); I went to church; tried to sing Polish hymns; went to a Polish Sabbath School; had my first sermon translated for me by the director of the school I am working for; ate a delicious potluck of salads and breads; hung out with William, the SM from Andrews University who has been here for the past 2 months and will be here until June with me; had oatmeal for dinner with butter and brown sugar; played volleyball with people from the church in Kolobrzeg; went shopping at Kauffland for groceries (first obtained Polish currency); and fell into bed, thoroughly exhausted. :)

When did you get over jet lag?  Was it bad?  Umm...I have never really had jet lag before, so I am not sure if it was "bad" or not.  It took me about 5 days to recover from the flight over here.

What did you do this week that you were proud of?  Taught a class all by myself!  :)  That was pretty cool, let me tell you!  :)  I am so proud of myself.  :)

Have you gone shopping by yourself yet?  Yes!  I went looking for a watch on Tuesday morning, spoke with the girl who was working at the store with the use of my handy-dandy Polish phrase book, but ended up not getting it.  Then, on Wednesday, I went to a bakery near my apartment for breakfast and got a yummy fruit-filled pastry.  Finally, on Thursday, I went grocery shopping again and also went to a different place than before and bought myself a watch from an older gentleman who did not speak a lick of English.

Have you gotten frustrated with anything since arriving in Poland?  YES!  Unlocking doors has been so confusing.  Some locks are "upside-down" to what I am used to in the States.  Others, you put the key in sideways instead of "up and down" (if that makes sense).  You don't just turn it once, either.  You turn it about a billion times, until you hear it unlock twice--and then you can open the door.  But, I keep forgetting that the key comes out "flat/sideways" too.  I have stood in the hallway outside my apartment arguing with the door to "Please, kindly release my key" on more than one occasion.  :)

What frightening thing happened to you on your second night in Poland?  The curtain rod in my bedroom fell with a crash at about 10:30 at night about an inch from the top of my head.

What has been the funniest thing that has happened since you arrived in Poland?  Hmm...it probably happened the night the director, Tom, and William picked me up from Szczecin, Poland at 9:45 in the evening.  We stopped at a "petrol" station to get a fork (Tom brought me food, but no way to eat it).  Walking over to the door, I reached out for the handle, pulled, and nothing happened.  I pulled one or two more times and then put everything I had into opening the door.  I even went back to the van and asked William, "Is it closed?  The door won't open..."  He came with me back over to the door and pulled too.  "Oh!" he said.  And then pushed the door in....easily swinging open, he stepped out of the way so I could (embarrassed little me) go inside.

What do you love most about Kolobrzeg so far?  The Baltic Sea.  It's incredible and it's only 7 minutes away (1/2 mile).  Nothing more needs to be said.  :)

How many people in Kolobrzeg have you met that speak English?  Hmm...fluently?  About 5.  But there are quite a few that know simple words and/or phrases.  I met a man last night who has a perfect British English accent who has never set foot inside Great Britain.  I even thought he was British, until he spoke Polish to a passer-by.  He learned English right here in Kolobrzeg.  How weird is that?  :)

What do you miss most from the U.S.A.?  Trail mix and peanut butter (yes, I have become part of the SM statistic--for those of you who do not know, SM's request peanut butter more than any other item while they are overseas).

What would you like people to send you?  Wool socks, thermal pants/shirts, long-sleeve shirts, a parka, earmuffs, 5-inch thick gloves, and a furry blanket.  No, but seriously?  I feel completely unprepared for a Polish winter.  Last night, we got frost.  31 October 2009.  Mark it down.  It looked like snow.  Oh and trail mix and peanut butter would be awesome!!!  :)  Perhaps even crayons or colored pencils...

What do you spend most of your time doing?  Preparing lessons for classes and for my tutor students; walking around Kolobrzeg, talking to William when I need a fluent English conversation.  :)

What do you do that is very interesting and fun?  I try to talk to Halina (my landlady) in Polish using my phrasebook and my dictionary.  We have actually had decent conversations, even though it was through much laughter.  :)  It really has been an incredible experience living with Halina.  She makes the best food!  :)  Everything is so good!  :)

What is one last thing you would like to say?  I love handwritten notes.  Seriously.  Write me.  = P  I will even write you back...a letter from Poland?  Coolest thing ever!  :)

Pa (Bye)!  I am going to go to a cemetery to see how they celebrate "Halloween" here.  :)  And yes, they celebrate it on the first of November.  :)  And I'm going with a group, so do not worry.  :)  Love to all!

(Photo:  Fall in Kolobrzeg; October 29, 2009)